Mortality

Today I did something I have never done in my life, I brought my father to the hospital for a procedure. I am using the word 'procedure' because surgery makes it all too serious and I am just not ready for that. I am a daddy's girl, I love the man like no other and it broke my heart today.

I'm scared by all this, I've noticed over the past few months that my dad is getting old. This terrifies me. I know that my father isn't afraid of dying. He has great faith and I know that while he doesn't want to die for a very long time he does look forward to his next journey. I'm glad he's at peace with this, but I am not.

In a moment of weakness on my way home this evening I imagined what it might be like should the unspeakable happen... to say I have a sadness in my heart that I feel will never lift is an understatement and to think this is just from a mere momentary thought.

Thankfully he is fine. His procedure went well and he is recoperiating nicely tonight. Ill be relieved when he is back home though.

Since my granddad, my last remaining grand parent, died three years ago, my own parent's mortality has become all the more real. I hope and pray that they don't past the torch for another 30 years or so but it really goes to show, life is all too short...